Sebastian x Grell x William Series
by whydowematter
Summary: Sebastian and Grell are a couple, but they have fallen into hard times together. What measures will Grell take to discover who he truly loves? Rated M for mature content in later chapters.
1. Chapter 1: What

**Chapter 1 - What's This?**  
"I can't stand it anymore! This house, you!"  
"Grell, don't you dare speak to me that way!"  
"Don't you dare try to order me around, Sebastian. I'm leaving, dick!"  
I threw open the door, Sebastian's clamoring voice dull in the back of my head as I ran out.  
"Grell, please, wait!"  
I drove off on my motorcycle in a hurry, my red flipping back in the air, unsure ofwhere I should go to first. If I was actually going to go to the stupid wedding, I might as well look appropriate, seen as I hadn't changed before leaving home. I stopped at an old shop near my pal's office and got a tux quickly tailored. Red, of course, although I had considered black, but it reminded me too much of that bloody demon. Besides, I didn't want to blend in with Ronald on his big day. Shocking that such a simplistic friendship would turn into such a strong relationship. Sebastian...Gah! I had to get him out of my head. I checked my watch.  
5:30 Almost late. I hopped over the back alley wall and walked into the hall where the wedding was being held.  
"Time to get my Ronald all ready!"

"Ugh..." I groaned. 4 hours, too many tears, and one dull service later, now I'm stuck at this after party. Everyone here is a couple with some other loser and I can't stop thinking about Sebastian. He really didn't realize how dreadful this relationship was already without incessant bickering.  
"Is this seat taken?" a firm, monotone voice said. I looked up and met the eyes of a studious, unsympathetic jackass.  
William.  
"No," I grumbled, looking away. William sighed and sat down next to me.  
He pushed his glasses up the ridge of his pale white nose and cleared his throat. "What's wrong with you Grell? You're normally the one making all the ruckus," he said, jerking his head in the direction of an obnoxious group of newbie shinigami out on the dancefloor.  
"Let them have their fun for the night. I'll enjoy their pitiful hangover tomorrow," I said, indifference leaking out of my words.  
William suddenly extended his hand towards me.  
"You know if there's something going on with Sebastian-"  
"It's nothing," I pulled my hand away.  
William slowly retracted his hand back, looking down then stood up with a nod of his head and walked away. I called over a bar stewardess and ordered multiple rounds of vodka. There was no way I was going to willing return home to an angry demon without a little liquid courage in my bones.

I stumbled out of the hall around midnight with a few hiccups, rounding the corner with a half empty bottle of whiskey in my hand.  
"Why did you feel the need to drink so much?" I heard William's perturbing voice say from the darkness of the alley walls.  
"Why *hiccup* do you care, *hiccup* William dickface partypooper pants?" I responded, drunkenly stumbling, dropping the bottle, and ignoring his presence entirely.  
I suddenly felt arms scoop me up and I looked up at the figure holding me.  
"You will need some assistance getting home," William stated, leaping over the wall and walking calmly towards my bike. He sat me on the back and put the helmet on me, then sat down and revved loudly. "Hold on," he said in a calm voice before shooting off down the street. I grasped him tightly, the alcohol flooding out of my body quickly. By the time we reached my home I was entirely awake and anxious. I stood on the sidewalk, twirling my thumbs, as William propped up my bike.  
"You're home, Grell. You should-"  
"I don't want to go inside," I interrupted him, looking up at him desperately. His indifferent expression became one of anger and pity.  
He took my hands in his and said, "I'll stay with you until I know you are safe."  
As we approached the porch, Sebastian flung upen the door, exhausted and shirtless, placing both hands on either side of the threshold.  
"Grell..." he said breathlessly, then frowned as he realized I was in William's arms. "What is HE doing here with you?"  
"I came to protect him," William responded, his voice full of anger as he stepped defensively in front of me, the threshold of the doorway marking the distance between peace and war.


	2. Chapter 2: Madness

**Chapter 2 - Madness**

I looked back and forth between Sebastian and William before leaving my eyes on Sebastian who walked closer to us step by step.

"And what makes you think I would harm him?" Sebastian said through gritted teeth.

"Sebastian-"

"You are not worthy enough to disrespect him," William interjected, holding me back while grasping my hand. Sebastian saw thimotion and lunged at us. William grabbed me and pulled me out of the way. He sat me down and said, "Stay here, okay?"

I saw Sebastian throw a punch at the back of William's head and pushed him off, grabbing Sebastian's fist tightly. William came up from behind him and yanked him backward, pinning him down to the floor. I stood, gaping in astonishment while breathing heavily for a few minutes then slowly turned and walked into the house.

I poured myself some milk and put it in the microwave, leaning my back and hands onto the counter. My mind was blank and I was unable to comprehend the current situation.

I heard the front door shut but I did not turn. Warm, gentle hands lifted my chin to show me William's face.

"He's outside, but I don't want him near you," he said in a soft, sensitive voice.

"That's not your choice to make," I replied simply.

"He's going to hurt you!" he grabbed me tighter. "It will only get worse from here. Please, come back home with me."

I looked him dead in the eyes and said firmly, "I'll see you at work."

The microwave went offand William's determined expression shattered into pure pain. I walked to the microwave and got out my milk, pouring in some honey. Sebastian had told me about this combination once after work. Bloody demon.

"I'll always be here for you," William whispered under his breath while leaving. A few moments later I was alone. Sebastian walked into the kitchen where I was sitting, drinking in silence.

"Grell-"

"Shut it."

Sebastian's head lowered. He then sighed and pushed his shimmering black hair out of his face, padding over to me and taking a seat at the head of the table. We sat in silence for a few, long hours.

"So did you...?"

"No. We did nothing."

"Good."

"Yep."

Silence. 3:00 a.m.

"I'm moving out," I said suddenly.

Sebastian looked up at me, his mouth hanging open.

I took another sip.

Sebastian suddenly lost control. "No! I won't let you! You can't do this to me!" he yelled, storming about the kitchen. I placed the papers confirming my new apartment space that I would be renting on the table.

"Please sign this."

Sebastian looked up and down between my neutral facial expression and the papers. He sat shakily, his hands slowly slipping from his hair onto his face as he began to sob. I looked over at him, almost shocked by this sudden break down.

"Please...please...Grell don't leave me!" he yelled out, lifting his face from his hands, tears flying out onto our coffee table. My eyes widened.

"Why, Sebastian? Hours ago you wanted nothing to do with me..." I looked down.

"That's not true! I'm just so stressed out! From Ciel, to the bills, to my worry over you-"

"Worry?" I asked quizzically. I was genuinely confused. "What have you to worry about?"

Sebastian grabbed my hands in his. "I knew that, eventually, someone was going to try to steal you away from me." His hand reached up and brushed my cheel, "My darling, fallen angel."

The smile that fell across his cheeks made me melt everytime. Tears poured down my blushing cheeks and soaked the papers on the table.

"I love you, you silly reaper," Sebastian said as he held me gently in his arms.

4:00 a.m.


	3. Chapter 3: Broken Mishap

**Chapter 3 - One Mistake Before the Dawn**

I woke up the next morning enclosed in blankets and Sebastian's bare chest in my face. I slipped out from under the sheets and got ready for work, pulling on my usual all red suit but pulled up my hair this time. My face seemed slimmer, my eyes more dour than usual behind the thin frame of my cat-eye glasses.  
The normal eccentric colour...gone.  
This was normal after a night of tears, but it seemed worse than usual.  
I shrugged and walked out the front door, carefully closing and locking it behind me. I'd hate to have a surprise attack from William.  
William...  
_Gah, bloody imbecile! What right did he have to come into my own home and behave like so_?, I thought to myself as I walked down the empty English streets.  
I had hardly slept; my shift was at 7:00 and I'd gotten to bed around 5:00. Sebastian had been more ravenous than normal when we made love. It was almost...painful. But I just let it slide on nerves and anxiety. He meant well.  
As I walked into the cinematic record library, I saw William walking with Ronald and we momentarily made eye contact. I immediately started walking in the opposite direction.  
"Grell!" Ronald yelled, waving frantically. I turned slightly and waved, not failing to notice William's crude stare. I walked over, putting on a sarcastic smirk, angering William to the point at which he walked away into the main library.  
"Geez, what's up with you two? Hostile much?" Ronald said as we walked to the repair center. Ronald had jammed his lawn mower before the wedding and needed to pick it up. I shrugged and picked up my chainsaw from my locker.  
"He was really mad this morning," Ronald remarked while we were waiting.  
"Oh yeah? What a shame." Sarcasm.  
"Yeah, I wonder what's wrong."  
"I wonder." Fake ignorance.  
We walked down the corridor towards the back exit when William suddenly stepped out of the head officials' department into our way.  
"But sir-" William began.  
"Stick to your troupe. I don't care what your excuse is."  
And the door shut.  
We stood wide-eyed, staring at the open mouthed William.  
My mouth pressed into a firm line and I crossed my arms as Ronald yelled out, "You want to abandon the team?"  
William pushed up his glasses and bowed his head. "I find myself unable to work in this group. It seems I have no choice but to deal with my personal issues, however."  
He looked at me smugly.  
I snorted in disgust. "We can work on our own. We have our own lists. We don't need you."


	4. Chapter 4: One Mistake Before the Dawn

**Chapter 4 - One Mistake Before the Dawn**

William looked ready to burst but, suddenly, his expression faltered and he looked back down.  
"Yes, Grell."  
I gasped and dropped my arms to my sides, staring at him as he walked past us.  
"What was all that about?" Ronald asked.  
I shook my head, staring after the solemn William in shock and dismay.

6:00 p.m.  
"Dude!" Ronald yelled as we opened the back doors and ran down the corridor. "I'm exhausted! You need to tell your boyfriend not to get in our way!"  
"I know, I know. He's just doing his job though," I replied breathlessly as I tossed my scythe and 'work materials' into my locker. I pulled off my jacket and suit then grabbed a towel before walking int othe showers with Ronald. A shower was already running but we both ignored it and continued talking about the wedding as we started ours.  
"I wonder what William was doing today," Ronald suddenly commented.  
"Probably doing more paperwork," we giggled.  
All of a sudden the other shower stopped and William turned around.  
I yelled out and hid my body behind the shower cubicle wall.  
"May I speak to you Grell?" he asked calmly with his eyes focused on the floor.  
I looked over at Ronald who said, "I have to go home now," and ran out. I sighed and quickly finished then wrapped a towel around me so I could go change.  
I met William out the front of the library.  
"What's up?" I asked casually.  
William was silent for a few minutes then said firmly, "I want you to chosoe me, not the demon."  
I looked up at him and stopped out front of a nearby pub. "Why?" I asked, pulling out a cigarette.  
"Because I knowI can please you better than he can," he said, placing both hands next either side of my face on the wall behind me.  
I blew smoke out slowly onto his face; he didn't even flinch.  
I sighed. "What makes you think that?"  
"I know what you want. You don't want someone who is aggressive and forceful. You want someone who is gentle, delicate, and sweet. Someone who will be caring with your body."  
His lips brushed up my jaw and towards my ear during his last few words , which he kissed and licked delicately. I groaned lightly in response. His hand traveled down the side of my body and gripped my lower back, yanking me forward and making me drop my half-killed cigarette.  
I looked up at him with slightly shut, lust-filled eyes.  
"Your body wants it, so why deny it that one wish?" William whispered before firmly burying his lips into mine.  
His lips were moist and cold, but full of passion and gentile emotion. They made my body tingle and I careened into him as we carried me into his apartment a few blocks away. He quickly shut the door and pulled my coat off along with his. I pulled him into me where I stood in the kitchen. He lifted me onto the counter and burned his now fiery lips into mine. He tugged my shirt open, his hands drifting around my chest and his lips kissed my damp neck. I groaned out gently,  
He was right. My body yearned so longingly for the gentle and painless pleasure that Sebastian could not give me.  
My trousers were suddenly pulled off and my legs were wrapped around William's waist. My fingers were buried in his hair and he carried me into his room, laying me back onto the bed. His bare waist pressed roughly into my covered hips and I moaned out loudly. William's soft lips kissed their down my body and I easily slipped into the sweet ecstacy that was his calm and relaxing body.  
He gripped my briefs in his teeth and pulled them downto my knees. He licked back up my inner thighs until he got to my waist. He then sat up slightly and pushed his soft lips around my erect cock. I groaned out loudly, biting my finger as his lips traveled up and down the hot surface of my skin. He began sucking at my tip everytime he came up and I began to throb.  
"William...nghh...faster..." I moaned out, looking down at him.  
He looked straight into my eyes then began to move up and down far faster than before. I released my finger from my teeth and yelled out a moan, pushing my fingers into William's damp hair. He lifted his lips off of me and began to rub my tip between his fingers while his other hand worked a finger against my asshole. He slipped his finger slowly into me, causing my back to arch up and through my head back. I could feel my peak was so very close and I released his hair, instead gripping the sheets tightly.  
"Willia - Nghh!"  
Cum poured out of my cock and down William's hands which he proceeded to lick the cum off of.  
"If you don't mind..." William began as he lifted my legs up onto his waist, "I would like to release myself as well." He was rubbing his large cock quite fervently in his hand while he pressed his tip up against my ass. He leant over me and suddenly pushed into me. I yelled out and clutched his waist, expecting sudden pain. Instead of pain, however, I felt pleasure wash over me. William pushed in and out of me slowly and gently. He kissed me passionately and pressed his body firmly against mine, the warmth of his body making me want him more than ever.  
"Grell..." he moaned into my lips.  
I could feel his throbbing deep inside me, and something turned in my chest. I suddenly decided to give him a little pleasure myself.  
I pushed him off of me so that he was laying on his back and I sat on his waist. I began to bounce my hips up and down on his cock, leaning my hands on his thighs for support.  
"Nghh...Grell...yes!" William groaned as I picked up speed. I rocked my body against his cock as I felldown onto him.  
"Come on William, don't hold yourself back, just let it all out," I whispered in a hot tone in between panting and gasping for breath. He gripped my waist tighter, pushing himself deeper into me. He finally took a deep plunge into me, his fluids filling me up, leaning his head back as he gasped and groaned. He wrapped his arms around my waist and buried my face into the warm skin of his neck. William's scent enveloped me and poured down my skin while he buried his face into my now-poofy and tangled red hair.  
"Grell," William whispered into my hair.  
I purred deep in my throat as a response.  
"Promise me that this actually meant something to you."  
I looked up at him and buried my face into his cheek. I couldn't lie to him. Or to myself.  
"Yes. It did."  
And William kissed me with the most passion I had ever felt in all of my deadly years.


	5. Chapter 5: Descent to Betrayal

**Chapter 5 - Descent to Betrayal**

9:00 p.m.  
I looked over at the clock as I squinted my eyes open.  
Christmas Eve.  
9 o'clock.  
Sebastian.  
I leapt out of bed, rushing through every room trying to find my clothes while William sat up slowly in bed.  
"What's the matter, Grell? Can't you stay?" William asked, suddenly realizing what I was doing.  
"Sebastian...plans...he's already worried...I'm really sorry!" I yelled from around the house.  
"Call me tomorrow," William said, grabbing my shoulders, turning me so I faced him.  
I smiled up at him and nodded. He grinned back down at me, kissed my cheek, and waved goodbye as I departed. I walked silently. I didn't want to know how much trouble I would be in for being late, nor did I really seem to care.  
What had I started?  
I ran into the house to find Sebastian sitting on the couch, love songs playing and a fire crackling. The perfect cheesy setting for a Christmas Eve date. Guilt washed over me.  
"I'm so sorry, Sebastian. I got held up at work," I said as I walked over. Sebastian stood; he was shirtless and his hair was slightly damp. For some reason, I was not aroused by this look. I was simply happy to see him.  
"At least you're home now," he said, a gorgeous and familiar smile flooding his face. He walked over and embraced me tightly, "Merry Christmas, Grell. What would you like to do tonight?"  
My eyes widened. I never picked what we did together. Sebastian always had something planned, and, if he didn't, he was normally vigorously in need of stimulation. How odd.  
I clapped my hands together and jumped around childishly.  
"Let's play board games!"

10:30 p.m.  
We were mid-Twister and my back was starting to hurt like the Hell that humans imagine. I wasn't flexible like the bloody demon hanging over me, his back and my stomach with a mere inch of space between them.  
"Spin it!" I yelled.  
"Left foot, blue!" Sebastian replied.  
I chuckled as I noticed a blue circle between Sebastian's legs that he had yet to notice. I slipped my leg there between his, my thigh brushing the bulge between his legs (not due to arousal, his pants were just THAT tight). His cheeks flushed red and he began to quiver. I pushed my thigh harder upward and grinned at him, He looked down at me, eyes lidded as he breathed heavily.  
All of a sudden, he fell and I hit the floor with a thud with him perched on top of me. He shook his head and sat on my lap like an innocent child, his expression of arousal as if it were his first time, more adorable than any newborn kitten.  
I couldn't suppress a mischevious grin.  
"What?" Sebastian asked in a loud, whiny voice.  
"You're so cute like this," I said, now noticing his red briefs showing from above his pants, which had fallen down quite a considerable amount. He noticed too, and blushed an even deeper shade of red.  
Now it was my turn to be ravenous. I sat up and gripped the now-hardening bulge of his pants, saying firmly, "Take them off."  
His lips parted slightly then shut and he stood so he could remove the tight cloth. I laid back against the couch and watched him take off those pants, looking anywhere but at me. I beckoned him forward then. He stepped in front of me and I crawled forward then sat on my knees, bringing my lips close to his cock. He bit his lip and I licked up the brief-covered phallus.  
"Nghh...Grell..." he shut his eyes and groaned. "You're so horny. It's unbearable."  
I chuckled and rubbed him gently, "It's my turn to ravage you."  
I pulled Sebastian back down to the floor and sat on his thights, bringing my warm tongue to his neck and licking it gently. He was even more sensitive than usual and let out a loud groan, his hands drifitng onto my shoulders. I licked down his damp neck to his chest and swirled my tongue around the soft skin of his nipple, engulfing it with my mouth after a few moments. I sucked at his firm bump tenderly, his body twitching beneath mine. I began to drift my lips lower and traced my fingertips up the warm skin of his member.  
"Sebastian, you're so firm..." I mumbled into his thigh.  
"Nghh...Grell...ahh..." Sebastian moans slowly slipped from his delicate tongue as my mouth surrounded him. I passed my tongue around his throbbing tip and gripped his base roughly. My hand pumped Sebastian's base aggressively as my tongue passed down from his tip and around his shaft. His gentle moans escalated gradually as the motion of my wet lips around him picked u pspeed. I slipped my lips off of the firm member and lookd up at the desperately lust-filled face of Sebastian.  
"No, Grell, don't stop now!" he gasped in frustration.  
I chuckled. This situation normally occured with us in opposing positions. It intrigued me to see him so weak and completely at my whim. I leant down onto his ear and whispered seductively into the moisture soaked hair, "Do I have permission to enter?" as I pressed my tip against the bottom of his slightly propped up hips.  
He did not say a single word; he simply tore his eyes open and stared at me, sexual frustration forcing his lids to release the emotion.  
With that glance, I gripped his behind tightly, spreading him open, and forced my erect member deep into the warmth of his body. Sebastian's back arched upward quite suddenly, a loud yell passing out of his red lips. I brushed my lips down his chest and around his nipple. I sucked passionately as I tugged him upward into my lap, pressing my hips firmly against him.  
"Ahhh, Grell!" Sebastian shouted in ecstacy, pain deep in his body. I let out a rough grunt as I pushed deep into the tight passage of him.  
Quite unnaturally, my mind had become twisted and contorted. My once silenced dominating nature had been released by the arousal of excessive amounts of hormones filling my body. It made me feel quite cold inside, even though I was radiating heat quite fervently. Sebastian's normally uncontrollable dominatrix personality could not even keep up with my body's sudden surge of power, and, suddenly, he was receiving.  
How odd. How strange. Yet how incredibly tempting.  
Sebastian's moans had become deep and ragged, the pain that had been present melted into infinite amounts of pleasure. Even my own body was coming to its end.  
"Sebastian...I'm going to..."  
"Grell! I am...too!" as Sebastian spoke, he spasmed and shouted, releasing his fluids across my stomach and thighs. The sight of it made me twitch and groan roughly, releasing deep inside him.  
I steadied Sebastian in my lap, his heart rate dropping very slowly and my body stiff. As our bodies came down from their hormonal high, Sebastian pulled slightly away from my sticky body and slipped my member out of him, each of us echoing a gentle groan. We both lifted ourselves up onto the couch and sat in each other's arms.  
Sebastian suddenly spoke, "You're quite aggressive in actuality...I like it."  
Those were the last words I heard slip from his beautiful lips before drifting into deep sleep in his arms.  
Peace. Life. This was where I belonged.  
2:00 a.m.  
Christmas morning.


	6. Chapter 6: A New Beginning After the End

**Ch. 6 - A New Beginning After the End**

Christmas day passed easily. We awoke and exchanged gifts, had brunch, made love, had dinner, and then made love again. My newly awoken hunger continued to shock Sebastian, causing him fast orgasms.  
"Ahhh, Sebastian, you're fantastic!" I panted against his chest after climaxing. He simply chuckled and ruffled my hair. My mind quickly began to wander, though, and a shudder drifted through my body as I remembered William. I felt his mouth traveling over my body as if it had been he who had taken me only moments prior, not Sebastian.  
Sebastian carefully analyzed my face then asked, "What's wrong, Grell?"  
I looked up, startled by his sudden question. "Um, nothing. I'm just tired and a little sore," I said, a fake smile drifting over my lips.  
Sebastian sat up, pulling me upright in his lap and looked seriously into my eyes. "If something is wrong, you know you can talk to me about it."  
I looked down at him, the throbbing guilt sitting in my mind. I couldn't tell him, yet I wanted to. No I didn't want to hurt him by telling him, yet he had every right to know...  
"Nothing is wrong, hun. Don't worry," I cuffed his cheek, smiling brightly. Sebastian's concern dripped from his eyes and we cuddled up to sleep. He quickly fell into a deep, peaceful slumber while I lay awake for hours, staring up at the ceiling, wondering how on this Earth I was going to tell Sebastian that I had given myself to William.  
5:00 a.m.  
I rolled out of bed in a ball of blankets and wandered into the bathroom. My mirror clouded as I ran hot water in the sink and I stared at my dull reflection. No tears, yet the face of sorrow. I washed quickly, combing my long hair out flat and decided to change my attire for the day. Instead of my red suit under my red coat, I pulled on a black suit and tie. An outfit befitting the gloom I felt.  
As I walked out of the house and onto the streets, I felt the presence of a flask in my interior pocket. I pulled it out while still walking to work and took a swig, contemplating the scenarios of coming clean to Sebastian. The liquor burned down my throat and the walk to work seemed to shorten with each swig.  
As I stumbled in through the doors, my blurred vision picked up the figure of Ronald who immediately noticed me and came to my side, walking me out of sight and into a corridor.  
"Grell! What are you doing, coming to work drunk?" Ronald whispered to me in a demanding tone.  
I placed a hand on his shoulder and smiled. "It was not my original intention."  
He sighed and heaved me over to the bathrooms, splashing water on my face. "We have to get to work. Come on."  
2:00 p.m.  
"What the Hell! What did you think you were doing?" Ronald yelled at me as I slammed open the back doors and paced down the hallway to the locker rooms.  
"I was drunk!" I yelled back as I threw my clothes into my locker. The water dripped down my body as I tuned out Ronald's whining.  
_Drunk? Pah. That alcohol didn't last me until ten o'clock_, I thought. I quickly washed off my body and dressed, completely ignoring Ronald as he called for me to wait for him. As I walked out of the hallway to the front exit, I saw William emerge from the opposing hallway office. I picked up my pace as I strode out the front door and went off on the road towards home. My body felt overheated as I walked down the road at a jogging pace, feeling someone's presence behind me the entire time.  
_So close to home..._, I though just as the familiar hand gripped my bicep and pushed me into the wall of apartment complex near Sebastian's and my home.  
"What's wrong? Why are you ignoring me? Did I do something to upset you?" the warm, husky voice asked desperately.  
I couldn't bring myself to look at his face. The daringly high cheek bones, that pale ivory skin, those dark black eyes that seemed to stretch on forever. I knew every contour of his gentele figure like the back of my hand. To see his face agin, and recall the memories of that night...I knew it would bring only pain.  
His rough grip moved to my chin and lifted my face so my eyes connected with that face. His eyes burned into mine and I inhaled sharply.  
"William..." I mumbled, seeing tears start to form at the edges of the abyss that was the reaper's eyes. "Grell, I know that you didn't know of my love for you as long as you knew of Sebastian's but you must know that my love for you is much stronger than his. Please, run away with me. Spend the rest of your days with me. Let me show you that my love is true and only for you!" William pleaded, tears pouring down his cheeks as he spoke.  
I was his only weakness, that I was certain of, and the guilt that I had felt when in Sebastian's arms returned. How could I spend my life with this man, who I had once hated and envied so greatly? No, it was not possible. Sebastian...he was my rock, my only steady love, my castle, my home. I knew no life without his love there to support me. Even after making love to someone else, I had still returned to him, still cherished the special feeling that came with making love. His friction started up my heart and kept me alive. But it was not just the friction that gave me reason to live. His presence, his warmth, his musky scent, the dark aura that surrounded him, I needed all of it. With every step into the future, we stepped together as one mass, one living spirit. Even though we knew that neither of us had souls, when we were together, our love created one. One soul for two creatures who were entirely at the whim of each other. I would never let my selfishness get the better of me after this.  
"I can't, William. My home is not in your arms. I know that now. Please, forgive me for hurting you like this, but Sebastian is the one I choose," I replied softly.  
William's expression was flooded with sadness, but his mouth had pressed into a firm, oppressive line. He tried to compose himself, and he managed quite successfully, but I knew his eyes, knew how to read the real emotion: complete and utter depression. He would never give up on me, no matter how much I rejected him, I just hoped he would feel that way about life.  
"My apologies, Grell. I will let you return home then. Have a good day," William said, stepping away from me, his voice cracking at the end. I started to walk away with my head down when I heard William mumble something.  
"What is it, William?" I asked softly, turning to look at him.  
William looked up at me and uttered gently, "Thank you. You deserve the best." He stopped for a moment then drew in a deep breath and said,"I...I love you," then turned and walked away.  
I slowly turned back and walked, keeping my footsteps in time with the beating of my steady heart. I had banished my desire for others by rejecting William, and, now, my heart and my mind were in sync. As I walked up the steps and into the house, I thought of what I would say to Sebastian, hoping and wishing that he would understand, and that he would still keep me with him, still let me live a little bit longer with this soul.  
Sebastian was sitting at the breakfast bar in the kitchen when I staggered through the door and he immediately stood up. "Grell!" he said, as he rushed over to me. "What's wrong? What happened to you? Are you hurt?"  
I looked up at him and smiled lazily, throwing my arms around his supple torso, starting to sob convulsively. Sebastian held me tightly and said gently into my hair, "Everything is going to be fine, shhh, come and sit down so we can talk."  
As my sobbing started to calm down, I began to speak, taking shallow breaths in between quavering sentences.  
"Sebastian, on Christmas Eve, the reason why I was late home was not because I got held up at work. It was because...I was with William." I looked up after that sentence to see Sebastian staring at me with wide, knowing eyes. He didn't say anything so I went on. "I slept with him because I was...unsure as to how I was feeling. Something changed inside me. But even through that change my love for you has outlived all my spontaneous ideas to cure my selfish desire. You are my love, my heart, my soul. You complete me. I beg for your forgiveness, but I entirely understand if you cannot do that."  
Sebastian's arms were suddenly around me and I was pulled into his lap. I felt my hot, salty tears slide down my neck and mix with Sebastian's fresh droplets as he cried silently. He didn't say anything about my relationship with William ever. He simply held me and I knew then that everything would be just fine as long as he was there to keep me steady.

Ever since then, working with William has been a struggle and he rarely speaks to me, or even looks at me. That seems to be my only punishment for my wrongdoings, as things seem to continue to get better between Sebastian and me. Love seems to work magic on people, and all we have to do is open some gateway in the mind to allow ourselves to experience that magic. I'm experiencing it, and I would not give it up for the greatest one night stand of my life.  
A relationship can only have so many problems if you are truly in love.

Learn it, believe it, accept it, and _get over it_.


End file.
